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Dave's "WTF" File #4 - Dave's "WTF?!" Files

About Dave's "WTF" File #4

Previous Entry Dave's "WTF" File #4 Apr. 22nd, 2005 @ 02:12 am Next Entry
Faithful flock to Chicago freeway to see image of Virgin Mary

ahem- "whatdafuck?!

How the hell are these people seeing the mother of Jesus H. Christ? Under a freeway? In Chicago?! Please, someone tell me. Because I know that if I was the mother of the world's lord and savior I most certainly would have picked a far better place to reveal myself. Like on a massive billboard next to the freeway. Or on a street sigh on the freeway. Hell, even the sign at the 7-Eleven just of the frigging freeway would have been better. She's the lord's mom for Christ sake! She would have picked a much better place than under a freeway! It’s not like she really needs to slum it you know. But what the hell is it then? Cause it's not just some big splotch. No ordinary splotch could possibly have this much sway upon intelligent folks like these. I'll tell you what this mysterious splotch is and why it's so mesmerizing. But first I want you to take a good look at the picture. Go on and look. I'll wait. http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/050421/photos_od_afp/050421164548_gvchx48e_photo0
Done? Good. So what is this splotch that has such powers to hold sway on the Chicago populous? It is… a giant vagina. Yes you heard me right. It’s a giant vagina. Don't believe me do you? Then go on and take another look. See the folds? See the hood? See the clitoris? See it now naysayer? I know you do. Yes boys and girls it's a colossal, glorious, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious cootch. Knowing that alone pretty much explains why it's got such an attraction to so many sexually pent-up knuckleheads.

So remember kids. We all see what we want to see. But seeing a big nay-nay is more fun then seeing some dead guy's virgin mom. Who’s dead as well. Which could only lead to bad things. Really bad.
Current Mood: Why am I awake?!
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Date:April 22nd, 2005 10:31 am (UTC)
It's ok, because it's a VIRGIN cootch.

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Date:April 22nd, 2005 01:59 pm (UTC)
The Virgin Mother and cootch should never be two things put together. Shees, she obviously was never a milf.
Date:April 22nd, 2005 02:16 pm (UTC)
Well, that's not necessarily true. The Bible does allude to Jesus having a bunch of siblings. I can't imagine that Joseph stuck around if she was all "Nope, virgin, sorry".


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Date:April 22nd, 2005 02:07 pm (UTC)
See I knew some wise-ass, theologian type person would have to throw that at me. Let's make this clear- she ain't my mom. My mom would kick her ass down with just a hard look. My mom would smack the stigmata right out of her. My mom ain't no virgin. I do have a sister you know. So no, my mom would never be hanging out by some freeway. She's got more class. She'd hang out by the truck-stop.
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Date:April 23rd, 2005 02:24 pm (UTC)
Looks alot like the 'Funk'adelphia stains you see all the time in the subway.. millions of gallions of concentrated human funk can't be wrong.

Date:April 25th, 2005 03:19 am (UTC)
nope cant see it...

this reminds me of the time my mother came home from a religious pilgrimage in eastern europe and tried to show me the virgin mary in a picture of a rose she took...at least that looked fairly somewhat like a human figure...
Date:April 27th, 2005 12:08 am (UTC)

and also

this was kind of an interesting commentary on it


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