Faithful flock to Chicago freeway to see image of Virgin Mary
How the hell are these people seeing the mother of Jesus H. Christ? Under a freeway? In Chicago?! Please, someone tell me. Because I know that if I was the mother of the world's lord and savior I most certainly would have picked a far better place to reveal myself. Like on a massive billboard next to the freeway. Or on a street sigh on the freeway. Hell, even the sign at the 7-Eleven just of the frigging freeway would have been better. She's the lord's mom for Christ sake! She would have picked a much better place than under a freeway! It’s not like she really needs to slum it you know. But what the hell is it then? Cause it's not just some big splotch. No ordinary splotch could possibly have this much sway upon intelligent folks like these. I'll tell you what this mysterious splotch is and why it's so mesmerizing. But first I want you to take a good look at the picture. Go on and look. I'll wait. http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/050421/photos_od_afp/050421164548_gvchx48e_photo0
Done? Good. So what is this splotch that has such powers to hold sway on the Chicago populous? It is… a giant vagina. Yes you heard me right. It’s a giant vagina. Don't believe me do you? Then go on and take another look. See the folds? See the hood? See the clitoris? See it now naysayer? I know you do. Yes boys and girls it's a colossal, glorious, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious cootch. Knowing that alone pretty much explains why it's got such an attraction to so many sexually pent-up knuckleheads.
So remember kids. We all see what we want to see. But seeing a big nay-nay is more fun then seeing some dead guy's virgin mom. Who’s dead as well. Which could only lead to bad things. Really bad.